Oh, the joys of a mother in law...

So, you know those women who just don't know when to stay out of their children's lives? Those mothers who were over-involved, over-nurturing, over-protective of their kids? The ones who see boundaries as trivial or who just choose to ignore them all together? Well I sure do! Heck, I'm living right next door to one!

Everyday I wake up and go: "Why, Lord? If you take this back, I promise I'll apologize to my sisters for ratting on them when we were kids! Please, please just make her disappear!" But does He listen? NO! He doesn't and here I am stuck with issues!

I think I have a bad case of karma. Like real bad! This makes me want to get a pen and paper and jot down all the bad things I did and go around correcting them like that guys from that NBC show that was cancelled last year. You know, "My Name is Earl". But then I realize that I did way too many bad things to correct them all now.

So, instead of doing what Earl Hickey did, I now am forced to play the role of Debra Barone from "everybody loves Raymond". Just like Debra, I have a mother in law whose love for her son means her dislike for me. I swear, every time I watch that show I feel bad for Debra...and for myself! The things this woman does is unconscionable! I don't even think she knows what she's doing is wrong. It's like she's one of those sick mentally ill people who doesn't know that it's wrong to run after people in the street with knives, so they do it anyway.

I find myself constantly asking "why can't his mom be more like mine?" My mother is a saint, an angel, the best mother in the world I tell ya! UGHHHH! I just wanna scream in her face and tell her get the BLEEP out of our lives! But I can't scream it, I just say it. Nicely. With the hope that the retard gets it!

I just want to know, where does she get off thinking she has the right to be in every minuscule detail of our lives? She thinks it's her right to know about where we buy our groceries or how much money we spend or even where we go to dinner! Isn't that going a little over board? What's next? "Oh, excuse me, dears. But I just want to make sure you're using a condom in there." I mean WTF! Major WTF!!!

My grandma gave me some good advice: sit and talk to her about her intrusive behavior. Gee, thanks a mil grandma but I think you know that you can't teach an old dog new tricks or you can bring a jackass to the well but you can't make the dumb animal drink the gosh darn water!!!!! See, I'm so peeved that i'm saying things like "gosh darn"!

Speaking to my fiancé about this is talking is like preaching to the choir. The poor guy, he's been around her so long that he has grown accustomed to it. In fact, it's like he's freakin' immune to her. Sure he can choose to ignore the woman but not me! I don't think I should have to ignore her! I think I should have the right to tell her to her face what I think!

Here's hoping that I get my opportunity! Wish me luck, and I'll keep ya posted!